We have an addition to the family!!!

Last weekend we adopted our second baby dog, Winston. He is a lovable chow-pug mix, who was rescued from W. Virginia just like Koda. He is 2-years old, and is the same size and similar color as our baby girl. He took some time getting used to things, but he seems to have fit right in. Koda has decided to also "adopt" him as her baby. She loves to mother him when he does something wrong. It is so interesting to see how similar they are to people. Koda gets jealous of him at times. Like, when he has his arm on her bed, she gets flustered and pulls the bed out from under him!! Now I can appreciate how stressed my parents got when Jonathan and I would fight. 

We got the results from Derick's chromosome testing, everything came back perfect. That was the last test that we were waiting for and now have a green flag to try expanding our human family. We are in no rush, and have decided to let nature take its course. God has a plan for us, and we are going to follow it. :) Who knows, maybe we will end up with 7 dogs! (Just kidding Mom!) 

The good thing with waiting is that we could potentially have a baby in 2010. Why is that important you ask? Well it is a bit of a Napoli tradition to have babies (specially girls in years ending in '0'. Ok here we go, Cousin Karen was born in 70, I was 80,  Cuz Vanessa was 90, my flower girl Kassidy was 00, and potential baby to be would be 10. Pretty cool, hunh? No pressure! 

Happy Birthday Derick!

This weekend Derick and I went to Bartlett, NH to celebrate Derick's Bday. We had a great time. Stayed at a Bed and Breakfast for the first time. I had always been nervous to try this because I never liked the idea of being in someone's home sharing a bathroom with perfect strangers. This was nothing like it. The innkeepers at the Bartlett Inn had a separate area on the property, and we stayed in cute little cottages. Each room had its own gas stove, tv, and yes...its own bathroom. Nick and Miriam, the owners put a lot of care into getting to know everyone, helping with fabulous suggestions for food and entertainment, and providing delicious home cooked breakfast every morning. I would really stay there again, and hope that it will be soon. 

While we were in Bartlett, we went on our first winter hike. We rented snowshoes, packed lunches, and got Koda equipped with her backpack and boots. She was hilarious when we first put them on her. She looked like a marionette with someone moving her legs. I get belly-pains from laughter every-time I watch the video. Once she got in the snow, she was fine. But the boots didn't last. She actually wore through all of the boots. So we let her finish the hike barefoot. The hike was a lot harder than I thought. It takes a lot to balance, truck through the snow, and not fall off the edge. Going down is harder than going up, as it was steep, ungroomed and we fell quite a few times. Koda was the only one in her element. We did have a great time. The scenery was breathtaking. Once you got to the top, you instantly forgot about the fatigue and curse words you may have used earlier. 

That night we treated ourselves to a well-deserved dinner at the White Mtn Cider House. It was recommended from our knowledgeable innkeepers and we loved it. A wonderful four-course meal by a husband and wife chef team. I think I enjoyed Derick's birthday as much as he did, and maybe a little more. 

So what about our TTC  (trying to concieve) journey? Well, the visit with the MD revealed that nothing can explain the 4 m/cs. I have gone through every test possible, and they all came back normal. With the exception of one. When I had the HSG procedure, the films showed that I have spina-bfida. Of course, it is a passive form, so I don't have any real health concerns. But having this makes it exremely likely to pass it on to offspring. So the OB started me on a very high dose Folic Acid, and after 1 month of being on it, it reduces the chances of my future kiddos having it to nearly zero. So I guess, everything really dose happen for a reason. I would have never known about this if I didn't have the HSG. 

So our next steps are to have Derick's chromosomes tested, which will probably not show anything. We were going to have it earlier, but it isn't covered by his insurance and costs a lot of money. We figured we should just get it done now so there aren't any gaps in the testing. Should find out the results soon. In the meantime we are enjoying our freedom and the luxury of being DINKs (double income-no kids). Someday down the road here we will try again. But for now we are loving being just husband and wife. 

So sometimes no news isn't good news.

I had my HSG today. I was so worried that it was going to be painful, but being a pharmacist, I knew to load up on naproxen. It was a totally awkward thing to have to do (I will save you from the details), but I have to say, it wasn't so bad. Would I want to have another one? Uh, no thanks, but it could have been a lot worse.  That is the good news. 

The "bad" news is that everything came back normal. You might scratch you head and ask why normal is a bad thing. And I guess it isn't really, but I was hoping this test would find a problem and be able to fix it. Not the case. So, I guess it is back to the drawing board. But I just feel like we have searched for all possible answers and that there is no explanation to why this keeps happening. 

The only ray of hope today is that, I have heard anecdotally, women who have an HSG tend to get pregnant a month or two after the procedure. I have heard that it could possibly "flush out the lines" if there was a small blockage in the tubes, and that sometimes it can aid in fertilization. So I guess we will wait and see. Maybe the doc has some aces up his sleeve that I am not aware of.  I will follow up with him in a week or so.

Thanks again for all of your love and support. Keep it coming and I will keep you all posted. :) 

I'm a lucky gal.

Nothing really major this week. Just back to the grind after the holidays. Not that it is a resolution or anything, but I have been going and even enjoying the gym. Nothing really impressive, but Yoga on Monday, and Gym- Wednesday, Friday, and usually one day on the weekend. For me, that is pretty good.  Maybe someday I will get the desire to run a Marathon , ha ha.  Em, don't hold your breath. :)

Today, I got to officially use my office! This is a huge deal as nothing in the government is quick. I am still waiting for the lock to get changed, the heat fixed, and arrange the furniture, but at least it is my first office.  I have no expectations that these will be tended to in any sort of a rush, but that is what space heaters are for, right?  It was exciting being in there because after being there for an hour, I had two patient consults, and lots of introductions and welcomes from the staff and providers. They all seem really happy to have clinical pharmacy services.

To make the day even better, Derick sent me the most yummy edible arrangement to the office. There are few gifts more exciting than having a surprise package come to you for no reason, other than to say someone special is thinking of you. We just finished polishing off the pineapples and chocolate covered strawberries....yum yum.  Know what made it even more special? After I took off all the fruit, and discarded the sticks, I was able to wash and reuse the bowl, and compost the lettuce that used to arrange the fruit. It was delicious AND earth conscious! 

Happy New Year!

Welcome 2009! Thought you would never get here. :) 

I had a follow up visit with my OB. Everything is back to normal and doing well. The next step will be for me to get an HSG (hysterosalpingogram). In a nut shell, they will inject a dye into my uterus and take an x-ray. This will be able to definitively diagnose if I have a septum, or heart-shaped uterus. (What a nice name for such a troublesome condition) If in fact this is the case, I will go for a hysteroscopy to remove/fix it. 

So this is actually great news. There is now a more clear picture to what keeps going wrong, and there is an easy (but somewhat painful) fix. I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

So what else has been going on? Well we had a fun New Years with Jonathan, Whitney, Heather, and Kevin. We ate chinese and watched the new year come in while rocking out to guitar hero. Koda was not thrilled that we were up so late, way past her bedtime. 

Also, the new job at the VA is going really well. It has been a long orientation process as it is much different from the "real world", but I am really enjoying it. I hope to be in my new office this week. They have also dubbed me as a diabetes expert (hope I can live up to it) so I will be an active participant in the diabetes care. Starting to feel like I am a real clinical pharmacist. YIPPEE!  

My mom likes to say, "as one door closes, more seem to open." I used to secretly roll my eyes at that thought, but who knows, maybe there is something to it. 

What is my New Years resolution? Going greener. Seriously, once  you start to make little changes, you want to do more and more to save the environment. Do you have Comcast? Check out the 'Go Green' channel (#233 for us). It has a lot of cool shows, like 'Renovation Nation', and 'Stuff Happens' (With Bill Nye the Science Guy...he is why I love science so much).  It is amazing how something so easy as using canvas bags vs. plastic can make a difference. Ok...I am off my soap box....time to go hug a penguin. :) 

Tomorrow's Hen

Derick and I went out for Chinese tonight. I had two fortunes in my fortune cookie. The first one said, "It is better to have a hen tomorrow than an egg today", and the second, "Don't be hasty; prosperity will knock on your door soon."  Not to sound cliche, but that pretty much fits right now. 

Most of you that are reading this know that Derick and I have some trouble starting a family. In fact, we have experienced 3 Chemical Pregnancies since May. Basically, it is a pregnancy where the egg is fertilized, but never implants, and it results in a miscarriage. After deciding to take some time off, and get some testing done, we found out we were expecting again. Although we were cautious, all our our bloodwork, and ultrasounds  came back normal and indicated that this might be the one. I went to the doctors on Monday, as I just had a feeling something was wrong, and knew the office would be closed for a few days for Christmas. I really thought I was just being a paranoid hyperchondriac.  The ultrasound technician must have known something was up, because she had the nurse practitioner come in and witness the procedure. My worst fear came true. There was no heartbeat, and there was no growth from the last u/s at week 6 (I was supposed to be week 9).  There is no known reason for what happened, and we aren't going to try and find a reason. 

Derick and I are heartbroken. We really thought this was the one. It has been a hard week to get through.  The physical pain is bad enough, but the emotional is far worse that I could have imagined. I guess the good news is that it did happen during Christmas, because we have been surrounded by our wonderful family. I think it will be hard when I have to go back to work on Monday. We'll see.

Why am I sharing this on a blog? Well, because it is somewhat therapeutic. And it is a lot easier for me to get my words out like this all at once, instead of having to tell the story multiple times. I think the another reason is that I was never aware at how common this is. I think it is an unspoken unfortunate event that happens to many people. Up to 40% of pregnancies result in a miscarriage. I don't think I would ever know what to say to someone before experiencing this myself. I have found the thing that helps the most to hear is just for someone to say they are sorry, and that they are thinking of us. There really isn't anything else to say. No one knows why it happens, or how or when it will be fixed. We just have to have hope that it will. 

This will be the first and only post for 2008, as I want to not dwell on the bad, and start 2009 with a clean, healthy slate. 

Derick and I are not in any rush to get to the future, but we are not going to forget our dream. Prosperity will knock on our door when the time is right.  Thank you all for you loving support. It means a lot to us. 

Here's to a Happy and Healthy New Year!