Friday, May 15, 2009

T stands for Terrific!

Had my ultrasound today. In fact, I had 3. I had to show up with a full bladder. Let me just tell you how uncomfortable it is when you know you "can't" go to the bathroom. It just makes you want to go that much more. I went 11 hours without going. The first thing the U/S tech said was that I got a "gold star" for the fullest bladder she had EVER seen!

Anyways, she said that my pictures looked great and that everything was normal. Then the Doc came in and did the whole saline/betadine thing so that the picture would be more clear. He agreed that everything looked great. Said that I had a follicle that looked healthy and ready to release. On the last snapshot, they both confirmed that I have a T-shaped uterus. Then they both proceeded to say, "phew that is a relief."  I looked at them with a confused look because I thought that was a kiss of death for a health pregnancy. 

When I met with the doctor afterwards, he explained that it isn't a big deal. And that it is much better than having a septum. The way he explained it was that a normal uterus should be a triangle shape, but that mine was T-shaped. They don't really know for sure but they think T-shaped uteri (like cacti, but less prickly) have an increased risk of miscarriages because it is harder for the embryo to get good blood supply. They don't do anything to fix this, just a matter of try, try again. The doctor was very positive that this will have a good outcome. He said that I might have another miscarriage (or two), but that in the end, we will have a healthy pregnancy. 

I was so relieved after meeting with him. He was really great at acknowledging that this is stressful, emotional, and unfair. But then he said he KNOWS that we will have a beautiful baby. After his years of experience, I am going to believe him.  I feel a lot better, as if some invisible weight was lifted off my shoulders.  Now I am not so worried about WHEN this will happen, because I know it WILL someday. 

I will attach some pictures of a normal vs T-shaped uterus, for your viewing pleasure. The one on the left is normal, the right T-shaped. Don't worry...they aren't mine.  :)

Saturday, May 9, 2009

It's been a while

A little birdie reminded me that I haven't updated this page in a while. I can't believe that it has been over a month since my last post. Actually, a lot has happened. Days after my last post, we found out that I was pregnant. I was immediately cautious, trying not to get excited. I had my betas drawn. Betas are a lab to detect how much pregnancy hormone is present. Any thing over 5 indicates being pregnant. But the more important part of betas are whether or not the numbers double in 48 hours. This is the true indication of a viable pregnancy. Ok, enough biology my first betas were 27, seemingly good news. However, when I had them repeated 48 hours later, they had only gone to 35. My OB thought this was acceptable, but my instinct said otherwise. I insisted on another round of betas 2 days later. The OB office called back on Friday at 4:45 pm (the waiting is really the hardest part) saying that my numbers had actually decreased back down the 20's. 

So, we have now had 5 miscarriages. I was very sad, but truthfully, I was really expecting it. The "good" news was that this 5th one was during Kristanica (instead of one day of birthday presents, I get 8 Crazzzzy nights) and Derick and I spent my birthday weekend in NYC with our friends Courtney and Neal (the other pharmacy Andersons).  We really had a great time in NYC, doing all the touristy things everyone needs to do once. We saw Ellis Island, Miss Liberty, Times Square, and even rubbed the Bull in the Financial District for good luck. 

After number 5, Derick and I decided to go to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. Dr. Reindollar, from Dartmouth Hitchcock, was highly recommended, and more importantly, covered by my insurance. I think I was expecting him to find this secret explanation. As if he would just look at my chart and shout, "Eureka!" I should have known better. He reviewed our records, and said, "you have both done every test possible and they all look normal."  I swear I have heard this before. The one thing he did note was that my HSG (the x-ray with dye) showed that I might possibly have a T-shaped uterus. He wants to further investigate this. So next Friday, I will go and have a 3-D  ultrasound to confirm this. I have been doing some research and it looks like T-shaped uteri are very rare, and usually were the results of DES (a medicine they used to use to prevent pregnancy loss, but later found out to be teratogenic) exposure. My mom wouldn't have been exposed to this as it was taken off the market in 1971. Even more rare are naturally occuring T-shape uteri. So I guess I will have proof that I am 'one in a million' like Derick tells me on occassion.  If it is confirmed that I have anomaly, the treatment is unknown. Most references say to just keep trying till one sticks. Not exactly the answer I have been looking for.   Most days I handle all this in stride, but other days I get really disheartened.  I know that this story will have a happy ending, but it doesn't make these chapters any easier. 

On a different note, my 2 dog babies are my comic relief. Koda has definitely made room for Winston. The two get along just like brother and sister. When I watch them play, I get flashbacks of Jonathan and me fighting. On the outside it looks serious, but upon closer look,  you can tell they enjoy each other's company. Koda has really become a bossy big sister. She loves pushing Winston out of the way so she can get more attention. I have NO idea where she gets that from. 

Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers. I will keep you posted when I get the 3D ultrasound results.